The

Secret

To

A

Successful Marriage

Is

As

Close

  As...

The...person...walking down the aisle...and the one waiting at the altar...

That's where it starts and that's exactly where you need to go, holding hands, on each and every anniversary.

From the moment promises were made...

...to this moment when promises are kept.

Day after day.

Simple.

Not really...but we all know that...so we begin our lives together with hope and a roll of scotch tape. 

The truth is that we stay together not because life is easy, but because it is hard, and at the end of the day, to have someone to have and to hold is a precious commodity.

Commitment to a shared dream.

Equal? Ha!

No. More like a seesaw. One seated close to the ground, the other, legs dangling in the air. Push off and rarely do you hit the center of gravity in exactly the same place and at the same time.

The goal is not to achieve balance, but rather to seek it.

Watching football season after season munching popcorn together, followed by season tickets to the theater. You fall asleep on the sofa in the first quarter, he snores in his sleep during the first act.

Balance.

He can't cook, but is a grill master.

You lose your way between mutual funds and bond performance, but run the household budget and stretch dollars until they scream.

You like lines in the carpet when you vacuum.

He leaves the lid up.

The secret to a successful marriage is very very simple.

It is the set of arms that reach for you, pull you in and hold you close, when you haven't said a word, nor shed a tear. Just the look on your face, the way you walk, a change in your rhythm, and hands reach out and gather you in. It's the talk before sleep, the whispers in the dark, the cup of coffee after the middle of the night phone call that changes everything.

It's the passage of time, moving a little closer to the head of the line, losing friends and family, and the unspoken prayer...

...please not us, please, not yet...

It's the panicky shopping frenzy before the new baby arrives, because you'll never have any money again...ever.

It's the moment you lock eyes over the tiny head of your first child and think life is so sweet it hurts.

The secret to a successful marriage lies in the telling.

Tell her.

To My Wife

You could have a man who captures your spirit in stunning prose.

That is not me.

You could have a man who never forgets an anniversary or a birthday.

That is not me.

You could have a man who asks for directions when he is lost.

That man is not me.

What you have is a man who not only believes for better or worse,
in sickness and in health, but also lives it.

What you have is a man who shows up, stays close,

who will honor and defend you.

My words may seem feeble or few,

but my love for you is fierce.

I am the man who not only says he loves you,

but does, day after precious day.

I pray that this enough for you to love me too.

Tell him.

To My Husband

Do you know I listen to you sleep?

For your slow even breaths. In and out.

Do you know I listen for your car pulling into the driveway?

Home safe.

Do you know I listen to you answer the phone call from one of the kids, and when you say "Hi honey" the way you do, I ache?

Dadspeak.

Do you know I listen to you playing your music, with your head down and off in a place I cannot go?

And am not jealous, because I know the truth,

that you are playing for me.

Do you know that I listen even when you are not talking to me?

That I am missing you too?

Do you know that I listen when you speak my name?

When you see me just as I am.

Do you know how easy it is to love me?

Listen then.

As simple as a kiss on the neck.

And your hands on my face when you whisper I love you.

The secret to a successful marriage should be shared.
On the night before our son and daughter-in-law were to be wed...

I did my part.

I shared.

September 20, 2008

Falling

 

Falling slowly

I should be afraid

The wind in my hair

Sun in my eyes

Falling 

Falling slowly

I should stop

Put out my hand

Steadying

To break my fall

Falling

Falling slowly

I should panic

Flap my arms

Try to fly 

Get away

Flee

Falling

Falling slowly

I see the ground

Rising to punish me

I yell

Up too high to be heard

Falling

Falling slowly

Then I quit

Struggling

Free fall

Open my eyes

And see you

Falling

Falling slowly

Beside me

Smiling

Holding me steady

Whispering

"Relax"

Grinning

"It will be a great ride."

I let go of me

And take hold of you

Falling

Falling slowly

Together

Two 

Falling

Falling Slowly

In love

With each other. 

Happy Anniversary from two folks you know, who despite the bumps and bruises, the ups and downs, through the shear power of forgiveness, and the gift of grace, find themselves...

In...Love...With...Each...Other...Too!

"I Know That You Do Not Belong To Me,

But Could I Borrow You For the Rest Of Our Lives?"