Garden Variety Wisdom

All I want today...All I really really want is a Vienna Hot Dog in a Sesame Seed bun with ketchup and mustard...

That’s all I want..

I am so easily pleased sometimes that it frightens me.

I do not need major attention.

Do not need anyone looking out for me.

I just need a hot dog.

A crunchy Chicago style hot dog with the simplest of toppings... and maybe a beer to chase it down.

Do you ever get to that place where the simplest of pleasures are almost too much to ask for...

Well...

I recommend that you hit the hot dog stand and do not wait for someone to rescue you.

Pile on the onions or the whatever and forget about singing for your supper. Sometimes you just have to take matters into your own hands and leave the rest of the world behind.

Count the minutes. What are you waiting for? A prince? Someone with a glass slipper and a promise that all will be well?

Well...let me tell you right now that all will NOT be well, until you grapple with the stuff close at hand.

Nobody is responsible for you and you are not responsible for anyone.

Start with a hot dog.

A red hot.

A red hot with the simplest of condiments or load that sucker up with everything...onions, peppers, cole slaw, jalapenos, grilled this way or that... then take it outside...down by the lake shore...

Get away. Get out in the open all by yourself...and expect no company. Merely stare at the majestic colors of the sunset as you chomp chomp chomp into foodie bliss...

Do not try this with a Ball Park Frank or an Oscar Meyer Weiner....this is time for the Original Dog...the one that when nestled into a slightly warm sesame bun will fill your soul with joy that is unattainable, unless you are supremely descriptive in your wants and needs...

Don’t settle. This is not a time for fakes nor frauds.

Nor is it a time for fake friends or people merely passing by offering empty platitudes.

This, my dear friend, is the time for getting back to basics, to the things you truly need, and you must resist all substitutes or offers of condolence pulled from the pages of some well meaning, but comfort food intolerant scam artist.

Get yourself the real deal.

If your thing is deep dish pizza, why settle for a slice from the local gas station?

If you treasure pasta primavera, get thee to the best Italian restaurant in town and scarf down a plateful.

Krispy Kremes, when the oh my we just finished baking light is on...get yourself a dozen assorted and set yourself down at a picnic table for one and stuff your face.

I do not want to hear from all the Vegans or the Organic crowd...I do not want a lecture from the cholesterol free, gluten hall monitors with the stern faces and the peanut police.

This is a time for indulgence.

This is a time to feel alive.

To enjoy the fruits of our labors, without nasty commenters or nutritionists nagging at the edges of our lives.

For today, just for today, GET A LIFE...and GET OUT OF MINE!!!

Because today... I need a Vienna Hot Dog. An hysterically red hot dog because I am so close to hysterical I can feel my pulse yammering through my body. I don’t need drugs or medication or even a Time Out...I just need a reminder that life is so very very special and it rushes by so fast that I am tired...

Tired of being on my best behavior...

Tired of acting like a grown up...

All I want and all I need is indulgence...

So if you are standing in a Quik Trip with a bag of Reese’s Minis, or if you are about to check out with ten Mini bags of Nacho Cheese Doritos...

You get a PASS from me...

I am turning the other cheek as I bite into the crunch of a Vienna Hot Dog that has my name on it...

When faced with enormous loss..

I turn to food...

Get over it.

Get over yourselves.

Kindness is not a casserole.

Kindness to ourselves is a Vienna Hot Dog and a cold beer.

Or whatever takes to you to that place Before...and helps you to find your place in the After.

The Food Police have turned a blind eye and you are on your own...