I am launching a new website.
From the center of Babble Town. A speck on Google Maps, indistinct from its neighboring towns, except for its inability to register dangerous decibels on a sound meter. Yes, oh yes, there will be language. One language unique to the user. Letters, words, sentences and even paragraphs allowed. Notes, memos, and for the particularly glib, a novel or thesis permitted. Oh and links. Apps. Tweets and text. The format is expansive enough to accommodate each and every being on the planet.
Thoughts, opinions, ramblings, speculation, ideas, viewpoints, perspectives, projections, evaluations, and the assorted odds and ends of errant or fluctuating mind wandering.
Wandering nomads, the nouns and verbs, adjectives and descriptors, linked together by dangling tangling participles and conjunctions.
In other words, in Babble Town, on the new website, the only language you will recognize is your own. You will control the conversation entirely, because only YOU can ask the questions and only YOU can answer them. Here, and only here, YOU will always be right, even though you won’t be able to prove it, because NO ONE else speaks your language.
No challenges to your logic, no alternative point of view, because no one can HEAR you, let alone comprehend the extent of your enormous wisdom and knowledge.
Welcome to Self Chat. Com/SHHHHH
Feel free to post an anonymous Avatar. We encourage you to be creative, or snarky or sweet. This is your chance to be wild and crazy or deeply introspective, as whatever you decide to share or thumbs up or down, is perfectly acceptable. You are on a one way street, traveling solo, in perfect harmony with the most important person in the world, YOURSELF.
You will never have to apologize, or eat your words, or copyright or trademark your ideas. They will forever be fully embedded in one sweet spot safe from hackers. Inside of YOUR brain. Think of it as somewhat similar in design as iCloud, except that sharing will occur only on the available neurons in YOUR mind. You will have an infinite amount of data storage, no need for back up, plus the added bonus of no longer needing tech support, as YOU are the tech. The Geek. The only one able to reboot, erase spam, ad block and upgrade to a smarter system. Why, you will be able to Photoshop your images in the blink of an eye. Literally.
There are no cybersquatters here. No filters. No copycats. No infiltrators. No deviousness.
Alone inside your head.
Zooming around freely to create your own neighborhood, 143 characters less than on Twitter.
The only character you require is the letter I.
You are the story editor. Whatever you think is true. You are the copywriter. You own the eraser at the end of the pencil. You decide which thoughts to keep, and which ones belong in the trash.
Self Chat. Com/SHHHHH
There are no rules or laws to obey. Only one simple recommendation. If you are used to yelling over someone’s head, or into anyone’s face, in order to be heard, don’t waste your time. You have, at your fingertips, YOUR full attention. Yell, if you must, but our PSA recommends that YELLING or typing to yourself in ALL CAPS may result in a headache that lasts over four hours, and may require medical attention that you won’t be able to get as no one can understand a single word you say. So there’s that.
Self Chat Users should expect instant euphoria and the urge to speechify at an alarming rate. The slight down side, is echolalia. You may ask yourself a question, only to hear your question reflected back echoing through your head in its new form, a statement. i.e. Was dinner tasty? Dinner was tasty.
Self Chat. Com/SHHHHH Licensing Agreement
I know. I know.
You expected there to be a lawyer hanging about in the shadows, ready to pounce and demand you sign on the dotted line.
The goal of Self Chat. Com/SHHHHH
...is simple and straight forward.
A mind is a terrible resource to waste,
but perhaps all that is needed is a clean sweep.
A wipe of the hard drive.
A swipe to the left and to the right.
Something along the lines of…
A soft answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger…
Here at Self Chat. Com/SHHHHH,
there is only one selfie.
No followers. No trackers.
Let your voice be heard,
and decide how much YOU like it.
I know that Self Chat. Com/SHHHHH will be amazingly popular, an overnight success, because…
EVERYONE LOVES TO HEAR THEMSELVES TALK.
It’s the listening that trips us up.
Now you have the perfect tool to practice…
So Listen here please.
Self Chat. Com/SHHHHH
You might just learn something about yourself.
I just logged on,
and this is one tough neighborhood.
I suggest a flashlight.
I think I just scared myself.
It's really LOUD in here.
Oh, that's right YOU can't hear me.