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Thursday, May 16, 2013

Hot Under The Collar






...Women are to blame. 


...It is inherent in their nature. 

...No joke. 

Ask the Greeks. Back several thousand years ago, when coining a new word for "womb", a name for "uterus"...they picked...


Okay, so maybe I can forgive a few old Greek philosophers and a group of meddling medicine men for stumbling around with a need for a more descriptive word than "nag"...but it didn't end there. Women needed treatment. Medicines and herbs and tugging and pulling and pushing to help women in their world, to stay in line. To get a grip. To settle down. 

It didn't end there. 

Moving on into the next few hundred years or so, "hysteria" transformed from a medical condition to a wide ranging diagnosis of rather "curious" mental disturbances. Behavioral misdeeds. Unfettered and unchecked ravings. Frenzied women.

Okay ladies. Fasten your seat belts. This is where history goes into a tailspin. A tall tale tailspin. A head banging what were they thinking, tale, spinning down into the abyss. Hysteria morphed from a medical condition to a mental disorder to....



Bewitched. Possessed. Demonic. Devilish. 

The cure? Potions and elixirs...exorcists...and if all else failed....

A quick dunk in a well or perhaps something slightly more serious involving fire and brimstone. 

Witchy witchy women. 

And then...

Oh come know what happens next...psychiatric ponderings.

Just in time. For a quick study.

Of women and their tics. 

Their twitches. Their nervousness. 

Yeah, well you'd be nervous too if anytime you hiccuped,
somebody lit up a torch

The evolution of the hysterical women is complete. From medically challenged, to mentally disturbed, to overly anxious, easily upset, out of control, raving, ranting lunatics, due to repressed traumatic memories. 

Well, gee, if you had all that hysterical history in your past, a little repression might be a bit soothing. 

I was thinking more along the lines of a little shock therapy. Or a strong cocktail. 

And then. 

Then I did the math. One and one did not add up to two. 

Cover your eyes. This is the sexy part. 

The history of "hysteria" was written by...


Men studying women. 

Trying to figure out what makes women tick. 

Trying to figure out what makes women tough. 

Trying to figure out what turns women on. 

Trying to figure out a way to turn women off,

shut them up and keep them out. 

Not a chance guys. 

There is some talk in the scientific community,

that one day men will bear babies. 

A word of caution, gentlemen. 

Historically, hysterical women around the globe are waiting for that day, smiling and serene...waiting for a signal from ....

"Mother Nature"

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