What's In and What's Out

According to some of the most esteemed fashion editorials, 99.4567% of the items on the IN list reside in boxes stored in my basement. Fossilized white sunglasses, shag carpet squares, lava lights, bell bottom jeans, acrylic polo shirts in shades of pumpkin orange and chocolate brown, Chuck Taylor sneakers, and crocheted shoulder bags.

Where does one go to buy my mildewing merchandise? VINTAGE STORES! Ladies and gentlemen, I have achieved the status to which I aspire. VINTAGE...like fine wine, subtle, gentled, enriched over time. Choice. Classic. In the spirit of a good fashionista, I race downstairs to play Vintage Dress Up.

Bell bottoms...my bell bottoms and my bottom-without-borders no longer relate. Something has definitely shifted. Acrylic shirts lie hip-notized, not a wrinkle, not a single unraveled thread. Doomed to an eternity in a landfill. Except acrylic, unlike cotton, does not BREATHE. This is not a good thing for a woman's body prone to spontaneous combustion.

VINTAGE. I looked it up, also means past prime, passe´, wrinkled. OLD! So here I stand, a study in oversized sunglasses and undersized pants.

Sad. Then I fast forward to the future awaiting the recently tattooed and multiple pierced and pick up my chin with a grin. 2011 is a good year to be IN, a great year to be OLDer and a fantastic opportunity to ripen further.


                      



In the waning years of my mother's life, her outfit of choice: white shorts, white sunglasses, black hose and high heels. I relate this gentle memory to remind me of my roots, and to make my children nervous.