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,,,All you need...
...To become a Yard Yeti...
Is
A
Clean
Sheet
Of
Paper
A tabula rasa.
An empty slate.
A clean sheet of paper made from a a mix of crushed
pulp and water. The pulp from a tree. A tree cut down and stripped of
its branches. Branches attached to a trunk. A trunk that grew from a
stem. A stem that emerged from a seed. A seed that was planted on
purpose or carried through the air for miles. Nourished in the soil. Fed
through the groundwater from a nearby creek, a branch of a tributary
that flows into a river meandering until it picks up speed and rushes to
the sea. The sea, warmed by the heat of the sun, rises as a mist. The
mist congregates into drifting clouds. Clouds gather and cool, releasing
the ocean's gift, in a shower of rain. Rain that kisses the leaves on
the uplifted branches of the tree.
A clean sheet of paper, you see, is not as empty as you think.
A clean sheet of paper is full of life.
Your Yard Yeti Membership Application is simply a clean sheet of paper.
Waiting for you to sign your name.
You can be the Yard Yeti you want to be...
right now
click your heels together
snap your fingers
clap your hands
just say "I believe"
..."in me"...
and it's true.
Now.
You can be the Yard Yeti you want to be...
all debts are paid
every road walked upon
every try in trial and error tried.
You can be the Yard Yeti you want to be...
minute by minute
day by day
the very person you feel at home with.
You can be the Yard Yeti you want to be...
right now while you're folding laundry
right now while you're doctoring or schooling
right now while you're taking care of everyone else's business
right now while you're minding your own...
right now while you're ready
in this place
in this time.
You can be the Yard Yeti you want to be...
an internal compass sets true North
or South or East or West
left or right
up or down.
A backpack full of shiny new pencils and colored markers.
The storyteller in residence is you.
You can be the Yard Yeti you want to be...
no navel gazing
no struggling inner voices
no push-pull by outside sources
quiet in the stillness
a settling down of self.
You can be your Yard Yeti self...
talented or gifted or plain
wear blue today and green tomorrow
high heels or bare feet
it's not about any of that.
You can be the Yard Yeti you want to be...
...Except you won't know what that is until the moment comes...
...and you won't know the moment is here until you say it over and over and over and over...
...until you sincerely believe...
...you can do what you want to do...
...you can go where you want to go...
...you can stop when you want to stop...
...you can be a Yard Yeti...
...and never answer the question "why" ever again...
...because it no longer matters why...
You will use good judgment because this is you we're talking about...
and you know better
and you know worse
and here you are choosing
to be you.
Just the way you are right now and just
the way you might be in a minute and just the way you could be on
Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday.
This is the incredible sweetness
and the miraculous weightlessness
of the answer to the question...
how do I move from ordinary to...
extraordinary?
There is a choice and Eunice Everlasting,
Yard Yeti Emeritus is right behind you, tapping on your shoulder with
her pinkie finger, one eyebrow raised and her mouth shaped in the "o" of
wonder...
...whispering in your ear...
Say it with me.
I'm a Yeti.
A Yard Yeti.
A Yard Yeti Woman
You bet your yellow boots you are.
Gladys Gerbera will teach you the secret handshake.
Wanda Wisteria will guide you through the weeds.
Ida Impatiens will help you make up for lost time.
Fifi-Forget-Me-Not will make you unforgettable.
Elspeth Edelweiss will stamp your passport. .
Nellie Nasternium will poof your pompadour.
And I, your favorite Yard Yeti, Radio Show Host, will signal you with the Noon Whistle...and dedicate myself to honoring your membership...in each and every broadcast.
If you want your own personal Yard Yeti nickname...
click on the Yoo-Hoo mail link
at the bottom of the page...
I'll be right here, prepping for my next broadcast
and painting my toenails...
an I-Can-Be-Whatever-I-Want-To-Be...deep teal blue.
...the same color as the ink in my pen...
...poised over...
Archived Yard Yeti Radio Shows:
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