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Thursday, March 10, 2011

Spring Cleaning

Out Of Fashion





What's In and What's Out

According to some of the most esteemed fashion editorials, 99.4567% of the items on the IN list reside in boxes stored in my basement. Fossilized white sunglasses, shag carpet squares, lava lights, bell bottom jeans, acrylic polo shirts in shades of pumpkin orange and chocolate brown, Chuck Taylor sneakers, and crocheted shoulder bags.

Where does one go to buy my mildewing merchandise? VINTAGE STORES! Ladies and gentlemen, I have achieved the status to which I aspire. fine wine, subtle, gentled, enriched over time. Choice. Classic. In the spirit of a good fashionista, I race downstairs to play Vintage Dress Up.

Mold. I smell mold.

Bell bell bottoms and my bottom-without-borders no longer relate. Something has definitely shifted. Acrylic shirts lie hip-notized, not a wrinkle, not a single unraveled thread. Doomed to an eternity in a landfill. Except acrylic, unlike cotton, does not BREATHE. This is not a good thing for a woman's body prone to spontaneous combustion.

I'll need a flame retardant.

VINTAGE. I looked it up, also means past prime, passeĀ“, wrinkled. OLD! So here I stand, a study in oversized sunglasses and undersized pants.

A Vintage Icon.

Sad. Then I fast forward to the future awaiting the recently tattooed and multiple pierced and pick up my chin with a grin. 2011 is a good year to be IN, a great year to be OLDer and a fantastic opportunity to ripen further.

I dedicated my first garden page to my mother. Somehow it seems fitting to share it with you now:

         White Sunglasses 

In the waning years of my mother's life, her outfit of choice: white shorts, white sunglasses, black hose and high heels. I relate this gentle memory to remind me of my roots, and to make my children nervous. 

I packed away the shoes and pants and lamps.

I am wearing the white sunglasses.

I am the garden

...where as we gardeners know...

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