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Thursday, October 18, 2012

Yard Yeti Membership Is Quite Simply A State Of Mind

,,,All you need...

...To become a Yard Yeti...







A tabula rasa.

An empty slate.

A clean sheet of paper made from a a mix of crushed pulp and water. The pulp from a tree. A tree cut down and stripped of its branches. Branches attached to a trunk. A trunk that grew from a stem. A stem that emerged from a seed. A seed that was planted on purpose or carried through the air for miles. Nourished in the soil. Fed through the groundwater from a nearby creek, a branch of a tributary that flows into a river meandering until it picks up speed and rushes to the sea. The sea, warmed by the heat of the sun, rises as a mist. The mist congregates into drifting clouds. Clouds gather and cool, releasing the ocean's gift, in a shower of rain. Rain that kisses the leaves on the uplifted branches of the tree.

A clean sheet of paper, you see, is not as empty as you think.

A clean sheet of paper is full of life.

Your Yard Yeti Membership Application is simply a clean sheet of paper.

Waiting for you to sign your name.

You can be the Yard Yeti you want to be...

right now

click your heels together

snap your fingers

clap your hands

just say "I believe"

..."in me"...

and it's true.


You can be the Yard Yeti you want to be...

all debts are paid

every road walked upon

every try in trial and error tried.

You can be the Yard Yeti you want to be...

minute by minute

day by day

the very person you feel at home with.

You can be the Yard Yeti you want to be...

right now while you're folding laundry

right now while you're doctoring or schooling

right now while you're taking care of everyone else's business

right now while you're minding your own...

right now while you're ready

in this place

in this time.

 You can be the Yard Yeti you want to be... 

an internal compass sets true North

or South or East or West

left or right

up or down.

A backpack full of shiny new pencils and colored markers.
The storyteller in residence is you.

You can be the Yard Yeti you want to be...

no navel gazing

no struggling inner voices

no push-pull by outside sources

quiet in the stillness

a settling down of self.

You can be your Yard Yeti self...

talented or gifted or plain

wear blue today and green tomorrow

high heels or bare feet

it's not about any of that.

You can be the Yard Yeti you want to be...

...Except you won't know what that is until the moment comes...

...and you won't know the moment is here until you say it over and over and over and over...

...until you sincerely believe... can do what you want to do... can go where you want to go... can stop when you want to stop... can be a Yard Yeti...

...and never answer the question "why" ever again...

...because it no longer matters why...

You will use good judgment because this is you we're talking about...

and you know better

and you know worse

and here you are choosing

to be you.

Just the way you are right now and just the way you might be in a minute and just the way you could be on Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday.

This is the incredible sweetness

and the miraculous weightlessness

of the answer to the question...

how do I move from ordinary to...


There is a choice and Eunice Everlasting, Yard Yeti Emeritus is right behind you, tapping on your shoulder with her pinkie finger, one eyebrow raised and her mouth shaped in the "o" of wonder...

...whispering in your ear...

Say it with me. 

I'm a Yeti.

A Yard Yeti. 

A Yard Yeti Woman

You bet your yellow boots you are. 

Gladys Gerbera will teach you the secret handshake.

Wanda Wisteria will guide you through the weeds.

Ida Impatiens will help you make up for lost time.

Fifi-Forget-Me-Not will make you unforgettable.

Elspeth Edelweiss will stamp your passport. .

Nellie Nasternium will poof your pompadour.

And I, your favorite Yard Yeti, Radio Show Host, will signal you with the Noon Whistle...and dedicate myself to honoring your each and every broadcast.

If you want your own personal Yard Yeti nickname...

click on the Yoo-Hoo mail link

at the bottom of the page...

 I'll be right here, prepping for my next broadcast

and painting my toenails...

an I-Can-Be-Whatever-I-Want-To-Be...deep teal blue.

...the same color as the ink in my pen...

...poised over...

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