The counter is covered in bracketology. Every station on every TV in every corner of my home is set to record approximately 72,000 hours of collegiate basketball.
The pantry filled with taco chips and salsa, bean dip and potato chips, chicken wings in the freezer along with boxes of White Castle sliders and of course, in the center ring, the main attraction...beer...and beer...and more beer.
Sofas centered...cushions fluffed...remotes lined up like soldiers ready for battle...and I am huddled in my studio in protest...listening to the radio...the only electrical device I activate without a remote.
And then I hear it...the commentators are telling me that today is World Happiness Day...and so I decided I should do just that.
So... I did a little research and found out much to my surprise that anyone anywhere can be happy just like me, and anyone anywhere can invent their own holiday, or special week or maniacal month.
So... this month, or what is left of it, is now, semi-officially...
Yard Yetis Awareness Month...or perhaps it should be the Yard Yetis Appreciation Year. But I’ll even settle for Yard Yeti Gardeners Recognition Day. I know I am Not-A-Yeti-Yet, like Cora Crocus, and Eunice Everlasting and Gladys Gerbera and Wanda Wisteria...but we all need a dream...right?
And besides, my research led me to a list of OFFICIAL holidays that I’ll bet you never knew existed and oh my dear friends what you have missed!!!
Hug Day...Just like it says...go out and hug someone...but you might want to introduce yourself first...miscellaneous hugging can be dangerous to your health.
International Bacon Day...considering the number of pounds of bacon I cook up when my sons are in town...I think this is sort of a Male thing...
...However...Please note that Pig Day is NOT celebrated anytime close to International Bacon Day... out of respect for...well for pigs.
Peculiar People Day...a day to celebrate and extol your person quirks and tics, your individuality...this does not mean leaving the seat up or picking your nose in the car while idling in traffic.
...and in keeping with the Peculiar theme...what about...
Squirrel Appreciation Day...this day is not limited to the rodent variety now scampering through your yard or building a nest in the eaves. It may also be applied to those acquaintances or loved ones who, in the middle of a conversation about how to burp Tupperware, look over your shoulder and blurt something truly bizarre and totally unrelated to the topic at hand. You are permitted on this day to yell out “Squirrel” and not be considered rude or unkind to animals...or rodents.
World Rabies Day...this one was too scary to look up. Sorry.
The Festival Of Sleep Day...I slept through this one. Just kept nodding off. Odd.
Something On a Stick Day...show your appreciation with corn dogs and popsicles and kabobs...and a Pepto Bismol chaser.
Lost Sock Memorial Day...a bit of a downer when you think about it, so why not gather up all those leftover sock souls and make sock puppets to entertain your friends.
Wave All Your Fingers At Your Neighbors Day...which is not to be confused with Wave Only One Digit at your Obnoxious Neighbor Day.
Hoodie Hoo Day...this day follows the Wave At Your Neighbor Day but now you add a wave and yell Hoodie-Hoo...and then wait for the police to show up.
Eat What You Want Day...this may be a special day for you...but as I am older and could care less...I celebrate it any day I want.
National Eclair Day...this one started in France...I am sure of it.
Make A Hat Day...does this require further explanation...nope...go ahead...make a hat...but I dare you to wear it to work.
International Talk Like a Pirate Day...this is a dangerous day for women if their 50th birthday falls on this day...as strange things happen when women turn 50...and you must resist the urge to start your own business making balloon animals at carnivals and please do NOT walk through the park while wearing only an eye patch with a parrot on your shoulder. This day, I promise, shall pass, and you will be just fine.
And finally my favorite day of all....
NATIONAL CHOCOLATE COVERED ANYTHING DAY....YES!!!!
...well maybe not everything...
These days of celebration and joyous jubilation are real. Google them. Do YOUR homework and then add the dates to your day planner and instead of one single day of happiness...
You can have an entire YEAR!
Celebrating each and every day as special.
Well, if YOU were a Yard Yeti...
...or a Garden Wannabee Not-Yet-A-Yeti like me, in the middle of March with Spring on the horizon...and the Madness about to descend in hoops and rebounds and food fights....
You already know that...
Every single day is special and everyone could use a hug and a smile whether it’s March Madness, April Fool’s or May be just maybe...
I know where the remotes are stashed, so you’d better be nice or I’ll name a day after you and it won’t start with the word Happy!
After all I am writing a how-to book just for you...
Just a click away...
Are You A Yard Yeti Yet?...Why Not?
It's Never Too Late To Start
The Journey From Here to There...
So why not start right...