Babies live in their own reality. What they see is what is Here. What they no longer see is Gone.
Appear and Disappear.
And, oh so very frightening.
I am too small to witness her shadow in the kitchen, and too far away to hear her humming as she scrubs the dinner dishes in the sink.
I look at her, my eyes wide and shriek what I cannot say...
We play over and over again. Momma hides her face behind her hands. Now you see me, now you don’t. But I am here, she is teaching me. I am here. If I go, I will be back.
However, when we grow older, and a loved one disappears, what do we do then?
For what we cannot see, what we will never see again, will return, I promise. In a memory or a photo.
And once again the fear and the anxiety will abate, as Trust takes over and wills us to live...
With or without...our loved ones never ever leave us. The lessons we learn in childhood, are often our best friends. For there we learn, oh so quickly, that to hold onto what we see, what we can touch, is not the reality that sustains us.
The very presence of loved ones, is never lost to time immortal, as we have the power to sustain their memories deep within our trust, and to find them whenever we need a safe place to land.
I have missed all of you and have been away far too long. I promise that I will return much more often and with much more to say. This world is beginning to scare me a bit, and I think that we should all grab each other's hand and find shelter in the comfort of each other's kindness and good humor. Let us do that. Let us find a smile each and every day to sustain the hope that tomorrow will be a better day. You are the sights and sounds I may not see or hear, but believe most strongly, are with me, each and every day.
if I never see you again
if time runs short
if life runs out
if i have one minute left
if i have one last chance
in and out
the following words:
even if i never see you again©